Blended Paths

I've been working on this post for almost three days now. Trying to blog from a phone is a stupid plan. I suddenly realized that my phone syncs documents for a reason - so that I can write what I want to and sync the document to my phone, then copy and paste that text to the entry box and post! I guess we'll see how that works for pictures in the future (post to Flickr or some other such linkable site from my phone, then copy and paste the link to a document on my phone and sync and vice versa...).

Things have been getting really tight around here. I decided that the best temporary course of action was to turn of my cable all together (finally removing the Internet) and use my phone for access to the web. It's been working out great (now that I have figured out this document syncing thing and started utilizing it) for text. Uploading photos to the website is basically impossible, but as I said, it's only temporary. My cable company has agreed to reinstate my Internet service at no cost to me because I have my own equipment (modem and router) and all they'll have to do is flip a switch (so to speak) from their offices. That's pretty cool, I think.

Jesse has been doing a lot of new (and strange) things lately. He's taken to trying to put on his own shoes. He doesn't wear shoes very often, but when he needs to have them on he'd prefer to put them on himself. He's always been that way about things once he's figured them out. He hasn't quite gotten the hang of putting on shoes but at least he's showing signs that he knows what they are and where they go, even if he can't get his foot into them on his own. He's also become much easier to communicate with in recent weeks. He's really great about pointing things out. If he wants something in particular, he's discovered that pointing and grunting gets it to him much faster than random whining or crying (since neither of those two things tells me much about what he actually wants). He RUNS to the bathroom if we ask him if he's ready for his bath, and he is climbing like a monkey. He's such a smart little creature, even though he can't yet speak our language. He makes up for it with funny and quirky and very obvious Jesse-isms.

I hope to put together a video today since I haven't done one in a while, but, again, getting from the computer to the phone to the Internet could prove difficult. I won't know until I give it a shot, though! If it proves to be beyond my range of patience, I will just go to a friend's house, or to my parents', and borrow Internet long enough to upload it directly from my computer!

Project 365 uploads have been falling behind along with blogs and other posts. I hate trying to type all the info in from my phone! But, that's an unavoidable situation - it's more work to create a descriptive document with tags and the like and then copy and paste the different sections to the different boxes, so I'll just have to deal with that a few at a time, I guess. The good news about Project 365 is that I always have my picture for any given day (well, 99% of the time) so at least I'm not just missing 20 or so photos!

Hope to get things squared away soon and be able to post loads of new photos!!

First, here are a few photos from Christmas at Granny Dot's and then New Year's (some of Jeremy's family came over for "Christmas" that day).

Jeremy's Dad (Jimbo to Jess) holding Jess and him and Daddy having a conversation...

Jesse gives Daddy a present from Granny Dot (actually, it was Jer's cousin's present, but whatever. LOL).

Here, Jesse gets presents from Jimbo and Mary and his Aunt Wendy and Uncle Pete. Daddy helps him first...

Then, it's my turn to help him, except that he's more interested in the wrapping paper than in the presents I'm trying to help him open.

These are just a few random pictures of Jesse in the last month or so.

Jesse likes to hang out at the side door and often he licks it.

"Hi." Jesse turned 14 months old on this day.

"Gasp, clasp hands..."

Daddy is getting firewood...

So, Jess is walking really good now and he's into everything. He still sleeps through the night and doesn't really make a fuss about bedtime. He takes one or two naps a day, and he eats like a horse (sometimes I don't think we feed him enough...). Everything is good now that he is well (did I ever post any pictures from our hospital visit? I know I blogged about it...).

It's been quite a crazy few weeks (OK, almost two months)!! Wow.

We've pretty much gotten moved into our "new" place and are finally feeling settled. We still have a lot of little things and some boxes to get from JR's house but that all depends on his family cleaning out the sunroom, where we'll probably store that stuff as we go through it, and the shop outside for Jeremy to be able to put away his tools and such. But that's about all that is left. We still, of course, have to deal with emptying our original house, but that's no biggie. A few huge boxes, call the donation truck, and pack the boxes and have them load that stuff and the furniture we don't want (which is most everything there) and then just rent a dumpster or skiff for a day and chuck the rest of the trash and have it all hauled away. We need to go get a couple of the ceiling fans we had just gotten when we left he house and clean them up. We need a fan in our room and in Jesse's room.

Alas, the holidays weren't as stressful as I expected but that is mostly because I didn't allow it. I didn't partake in much of anything related to the holidays (luckily the fact that we were sick and/or moving during some events helped in that respect). We spent time with Jer's aunts and uncles on Christmas eve and had food, but he got sick so we left. The next day we spent at his grandmother's after having a breakfast here at our house with my parents, but we left his grandmother's early and didn't go back to my parents' because he was pretty sick - some kind of virus or something. Then I came down with some hellish cold thing the day after we had my sister-in-law and her family and my FIL over (which was actually on New Year's day), so the next day my MIL came and took Jesse for a few days. We are both (Jer and I) STILL recovering from whatever THAT illness was. It was almost like a bad cold, but worse, but not flu-ish. Very strange.

It's been quite a sick month (Dec - Jan) but we're on the mend, it seems, and we're definitely VERY happy in our place and our space and with our happy little family unit and things seeming to be "normal" for us again. There is a lot of love (and, admittedly, a few spats here and there!) here and I really am so incredibly happy and at peace, no matter I have to deal with my student loan deferments pretty soon. Anyway, we just got our cable Internet and phone and such turned last week (the nicest and cutest guy did the install and Jesse LOVED him - he kept trying to play ball with him and stuff while he was trying to work LOL - it was SO funny. Jesse always takes to people unless there's some inherent evil or otherwise odd thing about them that he auto-picks up on). Anyway, he got finished by about 2PM and we were all set for Internet so granted enough free time what with Jesse's new crazy schedules and crazy behaviors (just requiring a lot of attention) as he's walking like a mad man now, I should be able to post at least every few days again. As long as I can find the energy and make the time. 

So, what did I really do over the holiday season? I read tons of books. I posted this at blogger and decided to copy and paste it here just in case anyone is interested:

"Since we moved and Jeremy started his vacation (he obviously gone back to work since...LOL), I've read a ton of books! I signed up at GoodReads and started keeping track of books I've read (especially recent ones). It's a great site - I love it! I've posted some of my reviews at Facebook but I keep that private, and then I realized there was an option to share at different blogs (WordPress and Blogger, both of which I have an account for but Blogger I prefer of the two) so I decided to post them here. So, you can keep a look out for that!

For now, here's a list of books I've read lately:

* How Good Do You Want to Be? by Nick Saban, Read 11-3-10/11-4-10. ★★★★★

* Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, Read 10/15/10. ★★★★★

* Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery, Read 12-15-10. ★★★★★

* Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery, Read 12-16-10. ★★★★★

* Anne's House of Dreams by L. M. Montgomery, Read 12-30-10. ★★★★★

* Anne of the Island by L. M. Montgomery, Read 12-31-10. ★★★★

* Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Currently Reading. ★★★★

* Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King, Read 01-04-11. ★★★★★

* Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern, Read 01-05-11. ★★★★★

* The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Read 01-06-11/01-07-11. ★★★★★ Life changing story.

* Tip It! The World According to Maggie by Maggie Griffin. Read 01-07-10. ★★★

* The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Read 01-11-11. ★★★★★

* Rilla of Ingleside by L. M. Montgomery. Currently Reading. ★★★★

* A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Read 01-11-11. ★★★★

I have done reviews of several of these books and read even more since I originally posted this at blogger, so I'll probably post that (and some of these dates may be wrong anyway because I'm using my brain at 3AM to try to remember them!).

Anyway, for my own intentions and records I've decided to read at least 50 books this year, and it looks like I'm on a good roll of a start because I'm counting the books from the last couple of weeks of December! LOL I'd just like to keep up with what I read and see if there is some pattern to what I read based on moods or events in my life or any such correlations. Fun." So hope all is well and you are all incredibly happy and enjoying your new year. I haven't been able to really keep up with anything without Internet and have posted from my phone so much at FB and Twitter just for random updates that I don't even want to look at the thing for a while. LOL Maybe I just won't!!

Alas, I miss my friends and support group online and I hope to hear from you and read you soon! I also hope to post a photo blog soon with some holiday pictures and some recent picture (and maybe even a video) of Jesse. He's grown so!! 

Take care, all!! /hugs

We are still undecided about putting up the video of our little dedication ceremonial thing that we did for Jesse - it was very...for lack of a better word, personal - and we want to share it but maybe just clips in his video for this month. I can understand Jeremy not wanting to share his portion (the things he said) for those reasons - they are from his heart and very personal to him. They are from him to his son and a prayer to God, and I can totally get behind and respect that.

I, on the other hand, have had a few people ask me what I decided to say (or, rather, what I wrote) because of the mix of beliefs that we share as a family - and for the most part, these people have asked this question because they find themselves in a similar situation: they don't want to have a church type dedication, they don't want to have a "ritual" dedication, they just want to do their own thing but they really don't know where to start.

There are two questions I have to answer before I can share anything else, though. The first is, "Why do you call it a dedication?" The second is, "Who, if not God, are you dedicating your child to, especially if not in a religious environment?" Well, to answer this person's questions, it's pretty simple. We are not about religion, we are about spirituality and the love and light of the Universe and of God being with us and around us all the time, no matter where we are, so in that sense, the world is our "church." But, not really - not so much the "world," but nature. We love the outdoors and spend as much time in nature - in the woods and by the water, even in the front or back yard - as possible. It is calming and relieving and refreshing and refueling for us and it is where we are most comfortable.

The place that we chose to have this little ceremony was a place that was very special to us for many reasons - but the bottom line is that it's been a place where we've shared a lot of memories throughout our relationship, from dating throughout our marriage, and it's especially special for Jeremy because it's a place where he grew up and learned many lessons about life and himself. We call it a dedication truly because we never really thought of another word to call it - you'll often hear (or read) me say, "the name is not the thing," and that's kind of the case here. We never felt we needed to give our child back to God because he never stopped belonging to God. Everyone has a different set of beliefs, even individual Christians associated strictly with the Christian church (of whatever denomination), and that's OK. Ours are that God is the Universe and the Universe is God, and everything in and of the Universe is God and God is everything in and of the Universe. That's just our trip.

So for the question of "who" Jesse was dedicated to, I guess the truth is that he was dedicated to no one - it was more a symbolic event consisting of us giving over any doubt and any physical or emotional responsibility for things that might be out of our control concerning him - that the Universe (or the God we believe in, more accurately), would take full control of Jesse's life and of all the things that we may not be able to control in regards to his safety, health, or any other extraneous situation.

That being said, I would like to share with those people who have asked me to what I wrote to share for this special day in my son's life. I can not and will not speak for Jeremy, but I do not mind sharing my heart with the world so I will. I would like to point out that I took different ideas from different people and things they'd written or put together, some almost ceremonial, but turned it into a more personal message and a deeper message from my heart for my son.

"Jesse,

May the God of the Universe make clear to you each road.
May the Universe make safe each steep should you stumble,
If you fall, lift you up.
When you are hard pressed with evil, may the Universe deliver you,
and bring you at last to the glory of God.
The blessings of the Universe and of Christ, his son, come to you;
this blessing is mercy, and kindness, and joy.
May this blessing come to our home and family.
I call on heaven and those departed, yet love you, to witness today that you,
Jesse Liam Michael, are given to the Universe and to Mother Earth and to the beauty of nature the Universe has provided us.
May you grow in your faith and gain wisdom to choose the path for your life which is right for you.
May we never press you, yet never lead you astray.
May we share our faith and beliefs in honesty and offer you all the opportunity to become who you choose to be.
May you be blessed all the days of your life with the joy and love of your parents, your family, and the peace and comfort that only the Universe can truly provide you.
May there be a constant bond between you forever, never loosening, for all the days of your life.
Blessed be."

I love my son more than anything - more than life itself, and I find that I (unlike in the past) am rarely embarrassed to show or to share my heart in regards to him. I certainly hope he is not someday embarrassed of me, but we can only wonder what those pre-teen and teenage years will hold. LOL

These photos are not actually of the little ceremony we had for Jesse; depending on what Jeremy and I agree on about sharing video from that,  I may be posting some clips. These photos are just random photos from the time we spent at the creek after his little dedication. A couple were taken by JR, and I watermarked them with copyrights to him. We went to a place called "Shoemaker's Cave," which has a story behind it but no one knows why it's really called that, so I won't go into it. Alas, it's just a great little beachy section of Weogufka creek on Coosa Wildlife Management Area, a place we frequent often (and have for years - practically a fourth of our entire marriage has been spent there in the wild LOL).

It was a really wonderful day - when we got home we grilled jalapeno burgers and I made homemade bacon cheese fries, like you'd get at Wings restaurant. I had some wine and we watched some football - had a really great time. I didn't take any photos of anything after we got home (ooops) but wanted to share these from our outing to the woods/creek.

It was cool when we left home but shortly after the dedication part of this outing, it was so warm that we took Jesse out of his jeans. We kept him in the shade the majority of the time because I forgot sunscreen.



He had a really great time just chilling out in his stroller and observing all the nature and activity around him.



At one point, he gave us a surprise and we had to wash him of in the creek. Don't worry - I used wipes to clean him, as well - we just thought this was so funny! He LOVED being in the water and wanted to play there, but as I mentioned, I had forgotten sunscreen for him and so he ended up perfectly content having a bottle and chilling out in the shade and watching all that was going on around him. The child loves to be outdoors, which is awesome.



After the diaper surprise, I got to take some photos. I used my Canon PowerShot SD780 IS this time. The sun was so bright and it was getting so late in the day that most of my pictures (and even JR's) were really kind of poor in quality. Oh well - sometimes the quality isn't the most important thing.



I thought this was pretty - a nice piece of freshwater driftwood. There was a lot of it around, as the creek was really low compared to it's usual status. We haven't had much rain lately, but that turned out to be good this day.



I ventured into the water, mainly to attempt to get to the other side and climb on some rocks that we can very rarely get to because of the usual depth of the water, but I was sidetracked by this leaf hanging out in the water. It was bright and pretty and grabbed my attention. I think I even said to Jeremy, who was in front of me, "wait up - this is a picture." LOL And, I took the picture. I can't believe fall is coming on already! I'm so glad - I love fall.



JR took this picture of Jeremy and I on the other side of the creek, climbing on the rocks. I wanted to take a picture of the moss on the rocks (which you'll see below), but could never get a really good one because of the lighting. I like this picture because it shows Jeremy's true superhero colors. He is, as you can see, SpiderMan at heart. He likes to climb things. I hope Jesse doesn't like it as much - at least not until he's older, but...you know how that sort of thing goes. He'll be climbing on everything in no time and, no doubt, giving me a heart attack.



This was the best picture I got of the moss on the rocks, and it's mediocre because it doesn't show the true color or level of detail I wanted to share. But, it will do - it was just really cool. It was really fun to feel it - so soft....



And, finally, a really sunned-out shot of the creek from where I was standing on the rocks. Gotta love that stark, mid-day lighting when you're on the side of a mountain and really don't have the ability to mess with the white balance or exposure of your point and shoot (which is more difficult to get to, and less "automatic hand/brain function", than your SLR). Oh well. I think it's a pretty good representation of the beauty that was around us.

As I mentioned, maybe I will put up some clips of why were there in the first place (aside from to enjoy ourselves). It may be only in Jesse's 11 month video montage and may not have sound, but I do eventually want to share with you why we went, what we said, and what it meant to us. I guess it's best to leave it at this, and say that that's a blog for another day. Hope you all had a great Labor Day - safe, enjoyable, and FUN!

So, I know my blog is becoming more and more a "Mom" blog, but the adventures are getting a lot more...adventurous and I can't help but tell these stupid little stories. I've become what I have always hated about my mother - the story teller, tattle-telling on the kid that does things that would be embarrassing for him but are hilarious to me. Oh well - it's my job as a mother to do this, and I must not let that stigma down! At this point in my life, I forgive you, Mama. /hug

3:30AM. This is what time Jesse decided to wake up today. Yesterday it was around 4:30 but he didn't start fussing until 6ish, so that was OK, but several days ago (and for the past few days, in fact) he started this "waking up at 3:30AM" thing. He goes to bed anywhere between 8 and 9 now, so he is staying up later, but he's getting up EARLIER. I don't understand, but whatever - it's cool as long as he keeps taking a nap now and again.

Alas, the funny part. As I posted yesterday, he is becoming very mobile and I would like to add to that description that he is becoming VERY demanding, especially when it's time for a diaper change. This morning, I am trying to change his diaper. Simple, right? No. I was not exactly with it, because I'd only been sleeping for about 4 and a half hours, and he was really fussing so not only am I trying to wake up, there's a screeching sound in my head that's making my teeth hurt. So, I put the diaper under him. He keeps rolling over, demanding to play.

I finally get him to stay on the diaper (forcibly, with my hand on his stomach keeping him from rolling) and I get the pee diaper off (thank GOD it wasn't a dirty one). I move it to the side, like always, and just barely get the other diaper on, and he flings himself to the side and grabs the pee diaper (which I have not yet rolled up because with a boy, well...yeah - you just don't leave it out for a long time or you're at serious risk). Before I can get it out of his hand, he gets the edge of the peed on part to his mouth. Aside from almost gagging, I blurt some obscenity that I don't remember and spend the next 30 minutes beating myself up for allowing my son to eat pee.

No, it wasn't that big a deal and he probably didn't get any pee in his mouth. But isn't that just disgusting? At first it was, and then suddenly it was hilarious. Suddenly, it became a story to tell my husband when he wakes up (and, apparently, one for the Internet).

This is another example of how, as a mother, you have to just let these things go by you. Stuff happens that probably shouldn't - yeah, you're responsible for this little person's well being, but a little pee isn't going kill anyone. That nasty guy on Man vs. Wild drinks it all the time and he's just fine. The point is that it's better to just laugh when these things happen and be thankful he didn't stick a handful of poop in his mouth - or smear it on YOUR face. Yep - it could always be worse. It could always be MORE gross when you're dealing with a kid.

 What a fun way to start to the day! I wish I'd taken a nap after that (he did finally go back to sleep) but I'm already awake now...so I'll just wait until I'm sleepy and get someone else in the house to watch him. Bwahahaha!

I'm speaking of my 9 and a half month old son. I knew it would be a strange new world, but I never expected it to be like Star Trek - boldly going where I personally have never gone before. I knew he would eventually boldly go, but I didn't realize that I would be boldly going with him every single solitary second of the day. You just can't turn your back - AT ALL. He is so much fun! He gives me a whole new appreciation for life - the things I can no longer see - the things I've forgotten over the years - he picks up and puts in his mouth. Yep.

He has been scooting around for a while now, but at this point it's like speed scooting. I think this could be turned into a sport that could totally give babies a chance to make a name for themselves in the Olympics. This child moves towards wires and computer equipment as fast as bunnies run from a random loud noise. He lurches for food thrown out of the bird's cage (by the ignorant bird) faster than a stray dog lurches into oncoming traffic for McDonald's leftovers thrown from a moving vehicle. I mean, seriously people - IT'S CRAZY.

It's almost like overnight he went from being unsure of himself to a new way of thinking: "It doesn't matter if I get injured, poisoned, or stuck between the end table and the couch and scream - Mom will fix it, so I'll go where/do what I want when I want!"

Great. I just can't WAIT until he hits puberty. Wow... That should be a real adventure, especially if what my parents tell me is true - you reap what you sow. I never got into "trouble" when I was teenager, but I was VERY hard headed and had serious filter lackage in that area between a person's nose and chin and their brain.

I love my son - more than anything (what parent doesn't, or doesn't say that all the time, at least)...but I'll tell you the truth. He really is starting to make me nervous. I've got a lot of work to do around this place today. Who knew my "baby proof" as we go plan would be blown out of the water in a matter of a 72 or so hours?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

As of this moment, and aside from the bird banging his bowl around in his cage, it is fairly peaceful in my world. Jesse is playing enthusiastically with his toys in the floor. The mountain of baby bottles and amenities have been washed and the sink is empty (except for one bottle, from breakfast). JR's laundry is in the wash - all of it, in one load. If for no other reason, this is why I like summer. At least the clothes are less in mass so that they can all be washed simultaneously.

Yesterday was the engagement shoot for Mandy and her fiance Nathan, and hopefully I will be able to post some shots form that here (and/or at Facebook, but probably here and linked back).  I'm sure she won't mind. It was a fun time, but it was really hot and humid, and we did more hiking than just walking to the different destinations. I'm not what one would consider sore today - perhaps when I get up from a sitting position there is a slight twinge in my thighs, but otherwise I am feeling no physical discomfort at all. What I am feeling is total exhaustion.

Sadly, and unfortunately and annoying, my parents' computer is YET AGAIN infected with some sort of filthy thing. I have promised to reload it (AGAIN) today or tomorrow, but I have a feeling it is going to be tomorrow. I am annoyed and short tempered today (after the morning poop fiasco that seems to be becoming more frequent with Jesse) and I'm just so tired. Of course, waiting until tomorrow could bite, too, because Jeremy will be the one in an outrageously negative mood (Tuesdays are the worst days for him). But, my Mom is off work both these days so it has to be one of them. I guess the choice depends on who is easier to deal with in a less than happy mood.

I can only say that either way, I am not looking forward to it. I really do not want to sit there and reload it - I really don't want to have to wait for this and that to install in the reload, and go back through driver installs, and make sure the printer works, and install programs...I just really am not looking forward to it. A couple of times a year, maybe. But 6 times in half as many months? Wow. I am considering putting them on computer probation. After all, that's what they would do to me if I was still under their control. They are very lucky they do not have to pay someone to fix these problems - and what is so strange is that they swear they're not going to anything dangerous, and they're keeping a list and what I've seen of it wouldn't seem like anything dangerous...alas, I am going to put another antivirus program on this time (even THOUGH JR, myself, Dorie and many others use the Windows Security Essentials software and NEVER have viruses or problems, even though we traipse all over the internet doing all sorts of things.  What is being downloaded I don't know, and looking at typed URLs in the registry is of NO HELP whatsoever...

Ugh. That's all I can say. UGH. I just hope this hasn't fried the brand new hard drive we had to install the last time because of physical disc damage from the virus. */cries LOL

Uh oh - Jesse is becoming fussy, so maybe he will be happy to sit outside on the porch in his seat and play and wave at the leaves/trees. He usually enjoys that in the mornings. We would be better off out there, anyway, as Jeremy is trying to sleep and I really don't want to have to hear hm fussing about being woken up, especially since I"ve already had to go in there for a couple things since I originally got up today.

Bleh.

Well, nonetheless, hopefully today you will see some of the shots from yesterday, and I will be able to get the 365 project updated (I'm 4 days behind I think).... We'll see about getting around to that after Jeremy is up and playing with Jesse....

Hey y'all! Thanks SO much for your comments and congratulations - I haven't even read them all yet! It's been a CRAZY ass month. No,seriously! I knew I felt strange...it was going on since I got homefrom the hospital (which was strange in itself if you read about that experience, which I will hopefully post soon...). I had been to the doctor two times since I got home, but it seemed no one believed me. It was always, "oh, it's just normal postpartum stuff, bs..." The doctor kept giving me random antibiotics,not even knowing exactly what was wrong with me really...and then ithappened.

I totally missed Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving, I was put back into the hospital! After five more days there (and missing four days of Jesse's life already!), a few more different antibiotics and severe allergic reactions (during all of which I never stopped getting IV Gentamicin), I ended up getting out last Monday and coming home with a prescription of synthetic antibiotics that my insurance didn't want to pay for and no pharmacy had (until the next day). Yay.It makes me really sick and dizzy and I've had basically a perpetual migraine, but it's apparently the last choice and last resort. I go back to the doctor today and will probably end up with another bottle of pills because I'm still sick and hurting down there... I'm SO READY to be WELL!!

So that's an update on what's going on with us. Jesse is doing great - had his first real appt. on Friday and now weighs 8lbs 13oz and is 20.5in long...he's a pretty good baby, all things being equal...

It seems that the holidays are already upon us again - I can't believe this year is almost over. Around April and June, I thought it would never end (pregnancy was not exactly kind to me!). LOL Nonetheless, love, peace, and happiness to everyone! We love you all!